comedy4cast #817

Odd News+ for August 25, 2024

"Just A Click Away"

Written by

Clinton Alvord

CAST

(in order of appearance, where possible, otherwise by actor)

ID ANNOUNCER.......................COMPUTER
CLINTON............................CLINTON ALVORD

INTRO: COMEDY4CAST STUDIO

MUSIC: COMEDY4CAST NETWORK ID STING

ID ANNOUNCER

The comedy4cast network. Let's dog ear that for now.

MUSIC: ID MUSIC UP AND OUT.

CLINTON

This is comedy4cast, episode 817: Just A Click Away.

MUSIC: OPENING THEME MUSIC IN AND UNDER.

CLINTON

It's time, once again, for the Dog Days of Podcasting. For more information and to hear all the shows, go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com.

Let's get started with "Odd News+"!

MUSIC: THEME MUSIC UP AND OUT.

SFX: TRANSITION WHOOSH.

STORY 1: WEARING WHITE

CLINTON

Here are our Odd News stories for Sunday, August 25th, 2024.

Here in the US, we're rapidly approaching Labor Day, the unofficial end of Summer. And a long-standing fashion rule states that you shouldn't wear white after Labor Day.

But it seems that doctors, dentists, nurses, lab workers, kitchen staff and the occasional mad scientist have never paid attention to this rule. Until now.
A group calling itself the Coalition of Lovers of Regulations, or COLOR for short, has successfully lobbied Congress to pass the Fashion Faux Pas bill.

Now, any professional caught wearing white after Labor Day will be subject to a Dye sentence. That's D-Y-E. They will have 24 hours to dye their white garments or face a Fashion Police paintball firing squad.

Our attempts to reach Mr. Clean and the Pillsbury dough boy for comments went unanswered.

SFX: TRANSITION WHOOSH.

STORY 2: ECHOLOCATION

CLINTON

Now lets get to our actual, for-real Odd News story...

Earlier this month we did a story about the filming locationi for stately Wayne manor. But today well be talking about a real-life Batman. Sort of.

Daniel Kish has been blind since he was a baby but that hasn't stopped him living an incredibly active life. He hikes, goes mountain-biking and enjoys other activities. While these things aren't necessarily out of reach for many with blindness, Kish has improved his mobility by perfected a form of human echolocation, using reflected sound waves to build a mental picture of his surroundings.

It is the same process bats use when they send out signals and listen for sound that bounces back from surfaces.

The skill has led to him being dubbed a "real-life Batman." Which he probably wouldn't like if he really was Batman. I mean, unless he figured if everyone thinks they know he's Batman he really can't be Batman making it the perfect cover for being Batman...

Where was I? Oh, right.

Kish began developing his sonar technique at a young age. Objects like cars, trees and doorways are identified and mapped in his brain using information sent back from a series of taps of his tongue against the roof of his mouth. The echoes from his clicks can tell Kish something about an object's distance, size, texture and density.

There's nothing revolutionary about humans using echolocation. All blind people use sound as they move around in their daily lives. It could be "passive echolocation," where echoes in the environment helps a person navigate, or "active echolocation," such as the tongue clicks Kish and other use or the tap of a cane.

However, using sound to navigate does have its limitations. Things like weather and other ambient noise can interfere with the process.

Still, it can be far more helpful than instructions from passers-by such as "Go THAT way" or "It's the YELLOW ONE. Over THERE."

What Kish has done is fine-tune the process to be much more useful. And he passes his knowlege on by training other in his technique. It's not always easy. He finds that, in many instances, the students he works with come from schools for the blind where clicking was actively discouraged.

Young people tend to be the most receptive to echolocation. Especially when the training also includes work with a long cane. It builds confidence and independence.

So, if you encounter someone, possibly with a cane, making taps of their tongue against the roof of their mouth, two or three times a second it might just be someone making their way to their destination. Or the Bat Cave. Either way, please don't be annoyed.

SFX: TRANSITION WHOOSH.

STORY 3: COMING UP

CLINTON

And finally, coming up this week on Odd News+, Master Chef Zander Vine will pay a visit to cook a dish from his new cookbook "You'll never use this book, but the cover pops in instagram photos". Then, MMA fighting embraces demur by placing meditation candles just outside the cyclone fence cage.

OUTRO: COMEDY4CAST STUDIO

MUSIC: 'END THEME'

CLINTON

That about wraps it up for today's Odd News+. A big thanks to the comedy4cast patrons for helping make this show possible.

Story, voices and original music by Clinton Alvord, Copyright 2024. All rights reserved.

Talk to you next time. But for now, that's it. We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye bye!

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