comedy4cast #810

Odd News+ for August 18

"One Big Plug"

Written by

Clinton Alvord

CAST

(in order of appearance, where possible, otherwise by actor)

ID ANNOUNCER.......................COMPUTER
CLINTON............................CLINTON ALVORD

INTRO: COMEDY4CAST STUDIO

MUSIC: COMEDY4CAST NETWORK ID STING

ID ANNOUNCER

The comedy4cast network. Let's dog ear that for now.

MUSIC: ID MUSIC UP AND OUT.

CLINTON

This is comedy4cast, episode 810: One Big Plug.

MUSIC: OPENING THEME MUSIC IN AND UNDER.

CLINTON

It's time, once again, for the Dog Days of Podcasting, a call for podcasters to try to put out a podcast every day in August. For more information and to hear all the shows, go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com.

Here at the comedy4cast studio we've been working on a new format for this year's dog days. Sure, like in years past, there will be an actual odd news story, but that's not all. So, let's get started with "Odd News+"!

MUSIC: THEME MUSIC UP AND OUT.

SFX: TRANSITION WHOOSH.

STORY 1: COMMUNITY CALENDAR

CLINTON

Here are our Odd News stories for Sunday, August 18th, 2024.

First up, as a public service, Odd News+ is pleased to bring you notes from your community calendar.

Tomorrow night, your local civic center will be holding its monthly meet-and-greet event. This is a great opportunity to get out there and introduce yourself to your neighbors. Light snacks will be served. But B-Y-O-C - bring your own coffee.

Later in the evening, for those interested in participating, the theme for the Fall Festival will be discussed.

Personally, I think that is a horrible theme for a festival, but it's your community.

SFX: TRANSITION WHOOSH.

STORY 2: 10X ITEMS

CLINTON

Now lets get to our actual, for-real Odd News story...

On yesterday's show, we went tiny, with a story about the smallest house in Britain. So it's only fair to jump over the pond again to hear a story about the other end of the size spectrum.

Meet former electrician for the ambulance service, Steve Wainwright. He's a man who had too much time on his hands when he retired from the electrical circuit. Wainwright said he felt a bit lost. He had always enjoyed engineering, building things and DIY projects, but nothing in particular was striking his fancy. Until one day when a prolonged bout of rain stopped him from working on various outdoor tasks.

Sitting in his easy chair, Wainwright looked at his trusty tape measure and did what anyone would do in that situation -- he wondered if he could build one just like it, but ten times as large.

Yes. Yes he could. In practically no time at all Steve had crafted a gigantic 16 foot Powerlock tape measure, complete with retractable giant tape.

Well, that was fun. But you may be wondering what Steve's wife had to say about this bizarre build. Naturally, she did what anyone in that position would do. She challenge Steve to build her a lipstick ten times normal size.

Is there something in the water in Cambridgeshire?

No matter. Steve built the lipstick and kept on going. Among other things, he has crafted oversized versions of a Master lock, a house key, a clothes pin and even a huge pencil and pencil sharpener.

The 61-year-old admits his creations are less about practicality – and more about dreaming big. When you've created an electrical plug that's 2 and a half feet wide, I'd say it's all about dreaming big and zero percent about practicality.

But one thing about the colossal constructs is practical. Wainwright chooses to create items at 10 times their normal size because the conversion is ‘easy maths’.

People’s reactions to the giant items are generally positive. But Steve has noticed a distinct difference between the reactions of men and women.

Apparently men say things like “Wow! That’s out of this world!” While women are more prone to comment “What on earth are you going to do with that? Where are you going to put it?”

For the record -- giant or otherwise -- Wainwright says he has the creations placed in little gaps around the house. Until, of course, he creates enormous versions of those little gaps.

SFX: TRANSITION WHOOSH.

STORY 3: BRUSSELS SPROUTS

CLINTON

And finally, an amateur farmer recently proved that they truly have a green thumb. Ms. Willow Hardy of Taunton, Massachusetts, was credited with growing the largest brussels sprout ever recorded in the Bay State.

We reached out to Ms. Hardy, who says the only problem with growing a huge brussels sprout is that now she has a huge brussels sprout. And ain't nobody gonna want that!

OUTRO: COMEDY4CAST STUDIO

MUSIC: 'END THEME'

CLINTON

That about wraps it up for today's Odd News+. A big thanks to the comedy4cast patrons for helping make this show possible.

Story, voices and original music by Clinton Alvord, Copyright 2024. All rights reserved.

Talk to you next time. But for now, that's it. We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye bye!

MUSIC: 'END THEME' UP AND OUT.

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