comedy4cast #801

Odd News+ for Friday, August 9, 2024

"Slicing Up A World Record"

Written by

Clinton Alvord

CAST

(in order of appearance, where possible, otherwise by actor)

ID ANNOUNCER.......................COMPUTER
CLINTON............................CLINTON ALVORD

INTRO: COMEDY4CAST STUDIO

MUSIC: COMEDY4CAST NETWORK ID STING

ID ANNOUNCER

The comedy4cast network. Let's dog ear that for now.

MUSIC: ID MUSIC UP AND OUT.

CLINTON

This is comedy4cast, episode 801: Slicing Up A World Record

MUSIC: OPENING THEME MUSIC IN AND UNDER.

CLINTON

It's time, once again, for the Dog Days of Podcasting, a call for podcasters to try to put out a podcast every day in August. For more information and to hear all the shows, go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com.

Here at the comedy4cast studio we've been working on a new format for this year's dog days. Sure, like in years past, there will be an actual odd news story, but that's not all. So, let's get started with "Odd News+"!

MUSIC: THEME MUSIC UP AND OUT.

SFX: TRANSITION WHOOSH.

STORY 1: NATIONAL CO-WORKING DAY

CLINTON

Here are our Odd News stories for Friday, August 9th, 2024.

First up, it's time to check the holiday calendar. Today is National Coworking Day. Be sure to take time today to turn to your peers and say "Thank you. Thank you for always lending a hand -- when the boss is looking. And thank you for always being here. Whether or not you clearly have the flu. And thanks for always choosing 'Reply All' on every email you respond to, even if it wasn't necessary -- or at all inappropriate."

For those of you who work from home, just hug your laptop and your refrigerator.

SFX: TRANSITION WHOOSH.

STORY 2: CRUISE PIZZA

CLINTON

Now lets get to our actual, for-real Odd News story...

For this Pizza Friday story we're setting sail with Princess Cruises. Not actually though. Don't pack your bags. Sorry, I should have been more clear. How did you get your luggage out so fast?

Princess Cruises just broke the record for the world's largest pizza party. In a manner of speaking.

First of all, if you're picturing beautiful slices of pizza with a variety of toppings -- don't. It was that lunchroom style flat pan pizza. You know, the kind they cut into squares. So, that brings down the jealousy level for not being there.

And, it's not quite the world's largest pizza party. It's the Guinness World Records title for the World’s Largest Pizza Party at multiple venues.

And, apparently, multiple venues doesn't just mean they served it on the lido deck and at the buffet. It means, to get this record, they served the pizza across multiple ships in the Princess fleet. So, at this pizza party it's not like you could grab your slice and walk around the entire party, chatting it up with people who understood what the heck the "duty free" shop is all about. Since it was on multiple ships, your pizza would could very soggy if you tried that. Yuck. And soggy square lunchroom pizza? Double yuck.

Still, if you're a stats person, during the party -- or parties -- Princess Cruises served more than 60,000 slices of pizza across their fleet.

They used sixty-five-hundred pounds of dough, thirty-four-hundred pounds of flour, over one-thousand three-hundred pounds of pepperoni slices and over twenty-three hundred pounds of cheese.

Which, at least, made it the cheesiest pizza party those cruise ship passengers have ever been to.

SFX: TRANSITION WHOOSH.

STORY 3: ENERGY SAVINGS

CLINTON

And finally, in our feedback section, Ms. Molly-Jane Sequoia Starshine wrote in to Odd News+ with a suggestion to help solve the world's growing energy needs. She says that people just need to follow her example. Ms Starshine claims she has been able to cut her energy needs by up to 90% by using this one simple trick.

Her secret? She now heats her home during the Summer and cools it during the Winter.

Milly-Jane does admit that the house can get a bit toasty and or frigid, but she says that since she's almost always off somewhere on an adventure, she doesn't really mind.

And she included a picture of herself on a cruise ship, holding a square piece of pizza.

Less jealous than ever.

OUTRO: COMEDY4CAST STUDIO

MUSIC: 'END THEME'

CLINTON

That about wraps it up for today's Odd News+. A big thanks to the comedy4cast patrons for helping make this show possible.

Story, voices and original music by Clinton Alvord, Copyright 2024. All rights reserved.

Talk to you next time. But for now,that's it. We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye bye!

MUSIC: 'END THEME' UP AND OUT.

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