comedy4cast #799

Odd News+ for Wednesday, August 7

"Heading Towards The Light"

Written by

Clinton Alvord

CAST

(in order of appearance, where possible, otherwise by actor)

ID ANNOUNCER.......................COMPUTER
CLINTON............................CLINTON ALVORD

INTRO: COMEDY4CAST STUDIO

MUSIC: COMEDY4CAST NETWORK ID STING

ID ANNOUNCER

The comedy4cast network. Let's dog ear that for now.

MUSIC: ID MUSIC UP AND OUT.

CLINTON

This is comedy4cast, episode 799: Heading Towards The Light

MUSIC: OPENING THEME MUSIC IN AND UNDER.

CLINTON

It's time, once again, for the Dog Days of Podcasting, a call for podcasters to try to put out a podcast every day in August. For more information and to hear all the shows, go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com.

Here at the comedy4cast studio we've been working on a new format for this year's dog days. Sure, like in years past, there will be an actual odd news story, but that's not all. So, let's get started with "Odd News+"!

MUSIC: THEME MUSIC UP AND OUT.

SFX: TRANSITION WHOOSH.

STORY 1: TAX FREE HOLIDAY

CLINTON

Here are our Odd News stories for Wednesday, August 7th, 2024.

First up, Tax Free Holidays. Now offered in some 19 states, these events can last from two to ten days and offer the average consumer a break from having to pay sales tax on certain purchases.

But a growing number of individuals are pushing back on this concept. They claim that what is happening violates the spirit of the event. That stores are crowded and customers end up spending hours making purchase after purchase.

The group says that in order to truly celebrate a Tax Free Holiday, stores should remain closed to allow employees to spend time with their families. But also liquor stores and McDonald's should remain open at all times.

SFX: TRANSITION WHOOSH.

STORY 2: LIGHTSABER TRAINING

CLINTON

Now lets get to our actual, for-real Odd News story...

Lightsabers. an elegant weapon of a more civilized age or a pricey, over-stimulated flashlight? You decide.

However you look at it, the art of lightsaber dueling is rapidly becoming something YOU can Jedi Master. For instance, France's fencing federation now recognizes it as an official sport. Yes, in a true crossing of the streams, you can have a lightsaber duel in the Federation.

Personally, I think France recognized proper lightsaber training to stop their younglings from practicing with baguettes. "lucien, no. stop playing with your food! Now, go mail this letter." "Maman, this stamp spells like a lightsaber."

Boom! Callback to yesterday's episode!

But, the popularity of lightsaber training is not limited to Europe. In Mexico, the Jedi Knight Academy teaches fencing "in the style of the Jedi teachings." I wonder if that means you get lessons 4, 5 and 6 before 1, 2 and 3.

The academy offers what one 18-year-old student described as a "playful sport with lightsabers, in a safe and fun way." I think Darth Maul would be beside himself with joy. What? He came back. For a while.

The Academy has spread to several states in Mexico and recently held "a national tournament of lightsaber duels," open "to all enthusiasts, from Padawans to Jedi masters." Hopefully everyone in the immediate area knew what was going on. Otherwise, all the buzzing and lights might have people wondering if the bees are up to something.

SFX: TRANSITION WHOOSH.

STORY 3: COMBO MOVIES

CLINTON

And finally, with the huge success of "Deadpool & Wolverine," every movie studio in Hollywood and beyond is rushing to cash in on the phenomena. This is sure to lead to some odd pairings. Our entertainment reporter Danny Hillcrest suggests you be on the lookout for some interesting matchups coming to a theater near you. These will include Sauron from "The Lord of the Rings" & that creepy girl from "The Ring", "Indiana Jones & Bridget Jones," "District 9 & Oceans Eleven," and "Lilo & Stitch & Thelma & Louise--&--The Princess and the Frog & Mr. & Mrs. Smith & Percy Jackson and the Olympians--& Pride & Prejudice # & Dumb and Dumber & Beauty and The Beast & Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory & Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them & Smokey and the Bandit--&--Cowboys--&--Aliens--&--Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man & James and the Giant Peach & Monty Python and the Holy Grail & Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid & The Fast and The Furious & Lady and the Tramp & Judas & The Black Messiah & A Boy and His Dog & Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban & An Officer and a Gentleman & Three Men and a Baby & Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels & Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle".

OUTRO: COMEDY4CAST STUDIO

MUSIC: 'END THEME'

CLINTON

That about wraps it up for today's Odd News+. A big thanks to the comedy4cast patrons for helping make this show possible.

Story, voices and original music by Clinton Alvord, Copyright 2024. All rights reserved.

Talk to you next time. But for now, that's it. We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye bye!

MUSIC: 'END THEME' UP AND OUT.

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