comedy4cast #793

Odd News+ for August 1

"A Hobby You Can Stick With"

Written by

Clinton Alvord

CAST

(in order of appearance, where possible, otherwise by actor)

ID ANNOUNCER.......................COMPUTER
CLINTON............................CLINTON ALVORD

INTRO: COMEDY4CAST STUDIO

MUSIC: COMEDY4CAST NETWORK ID STING

ID ANNOUNCER

The comedy4cast network. Let's dog ear that for now.

MUSIC: ID MUSIC UP AND OUT.

CLINTON

This is comedy4cast, episode 793: A Hobby You Can Stick With

MUSIC: OPENING THEME MUSIC IN AND UNDER.

CLINTON (cont'd)

It's time, once again, for the Dog Days of Podcasting, a call for podcasters to try to put out a podcast every day in August. For more information and to hear all the shows, go to dogdaysofpodcasting.com.

Here at the comedy4cast studios we've been working on a new format for this year's Dog Days. Sure, like in years past, there will be an actual odd news story, but that's not all. So, let's get started with "Odd News+"!

MUSIC: THEME MUSIC UP AND OUT.

SFX: TRANSITION WHOOSH.

STORY 1: HOROSOPE

CLINTON

Here are our stories for Thursday, August 1st, 2024.

First up, Odd News+ takes a look at your daily horoscope. If you're a Leo, tread lightly today. Certain issues will prove to be a challenge and may start to stress you out. Don't let them. That would be bad for you. No, I mean it. This stuff could really mess you up if you let it get it inside your head. So chill! Stop stressing! Just stop it!

SFX: TRANSITION WHOOSH.

STORY 2: HOBBY HORSING

CLINTON

Moving on to our actual, for-real Odd News story...

With the Summer Olympics in full swing, there is one competition you won't see at any Paris venue. Yet participant must have the agility of a gymnast and the imagination of anyone who believes curling is a real sport.

I am, of course, speaking about hobby horsing -- a sport that's sweeping across the globe. Or at least it could be sweeping the globe if they would just put brushes on the bottom of those sticks.

Created in Finland more than a decade ago, some 260 riders from 22 countries recently turned up to compete at the 11th annual Finnish championship held in the town of Seinajoki. Seinajoki? Seinajoki? Seriously? Can't you hold this thing in Helsinki?

But you're probably wondering, what happens during a hobby horse competition? Is everyone just hopping around like a mob of kangaroos doing jazzercise? Nay nay. This is intense stuff.

For instance, in one portion of the event, equestrians maneuver a set course as fast as they can, leaping over fences that are up to 3 and a half feet tall, all while straddling their stick steeds. It's intense enough that some rider train by riding real horses, working out in the gym or even practicing pole dancing. That's...That's why they have that pole in the house. No, you shut up.

Of course things are more stately in the dressage, with riders trotting their stick horses before the discerning eyes of the judges and some 2,000 attendees

Competitors go to great lengths when creating their horses -- modeling and sewing the heads and adorning them with decorations. Which makes us wonder, hey MTV, where's our "Pimp my Hobby Horse" series?

But despite the sport's growing popularity, participants often face judgment and bullying.

Here at Odd News+, we think the sport of hobbyhorsing is odd, but that's not always a bad thing. You be you.

SFX: TRANSITION WHOOSH.

STORY 3: MIDDLE-AGED FARMER'S ALMANAC

CLINTON

We wrap up today's Odd News+ with some information from the latest edition of the Middle-Aged Farmer's Almanac.

According to the Almanac, today is the best day of the year to rotate your crops. The book says this means that you should shove the stalks of your plants underground and exposing the roots to sunlight for the remainder of the growing season. Which, I assume, only lasts for a few more days.

And Leos -- stop stressing!

OUTRO: COMEDY4CAST STUDIO

MUSIC: 'END THEME'

CLINTON

That about wraps it up for today's Odd News+. A big thanks to the comedy4cast patrons for helping make this show possible.

Story, voices and original music by Clinton Alvord, Copyright 2024. All rights reserved.

Talk to you next time. But for now -- That's it. We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye bye!

MUSIC: 'END THEME' UP AND OUT.

-- THE END --