comedy4cast #776

BIG SHOT

Chapter 8: Breaking The Dress Code

Written by

Clinton Alvord

CAST

(in order of appearance, where possible, otherwise by actor)

ID ANNOUNCER..................COMPUTER

CLINTON

GILES

CAP........................CLINTON ALVORD

NARRATOR......................GARY J. CHAMBERS

STRANGER......................GRANT JOHNSON

INTRO 8-1: COMEDY4CAST STUDIO

CLINTON

Oh. Hi, this is Clinton. Just a note that episode 9 of "Big Shot" will premier on Wednesday, September 13th. But, right now, let's get to episode 8!

MUSIC: COMEDY4CAST NETWORK ID STING

ID ANNOUNCER

The comedy4cast network. Let's dog ear that for now.

MUSIC: CHIRP AS ID BACKGROUND ENDS.

MUSIC: 2023 PODCAST-A-DAY THEME IN AND UNDER.

CLINTON

This is the 2023 comedy4cast Podcast Spectacular, brought to you by the fantastic Patreon patrons. Thank you.

Why not join Amy, Howard, Steve, and the other amazing individuals who support the show for as little as a dollar a month?

This year's original 20-chapter story is called "Big Shot". To hear it from the beginning, got to comedy4cast.com/2023. And remember, comedy4cast is all one word, with the number 4. Now, here's Chapter 8: Breaking The Dress Code.

MUSIC: 2023 PODCAST-A-DAY THEME UP AND PLAY TO END.

NARRATOR

Previously in our story, the mysterious stranger who has come to Middling Fair looking for Danny Hillcrest continued gathering intel. He spoke with Cindy and learned that Danny had been fired from his job as social media director for the Cine-Round-a-Dome Drive-In Theater. Danny had promised that the artist Banksy would appear at an event -- without ever speaking with Banksy!

SCENE 8-2: EXT. SIDEWALK NEAR THE VENUS ARMS HOTEL - NIGHT

SFX: LIGHT TRAFFIC.

SFX: FOOTSTEPS ON THE PAVEMENT.

NARRATOR

As this chapter begins, the stranger is walking back to the Venus Arms Hotel and Towers.

STRANGER

Okay. You have to stop.

NARRATOR

Who? Me? Sorry. Just doing my job.

STRANGER

Well, do it somewhere else. Isn't there a PBS documentary or Honda commercial somewhere that needs narrating?

NARRATOR

Well! I never!

STRANGER

(to himself)

Okay. What have I got? I know that Hillcrest was in the hotel restaurant this morning, and that he was fired from the drive-in. Which means he has no money. He also wrote down the words "A RAM SANG." But no one knows what that means.

(frustrated)

Come on, Hillcrest. Where are you? I just need a minute and, BANG, all done.

NARRATOR

The stranger reaches the Venus Arms and prepares to go through the persnickety revolving door -- if he can.

STRANGER

Hey, hey, hey! Didn't I tell you to take a hike?

NARRATOR

Well, yes. But I thought you meant...

STRANGER

Listen. Listen. Get. Lost.

NARRATOR

Humpf! You wouldn't treat Paul Frees this way!

MUSIC: TRANSITION STING.

SCENE 8-3: INT. HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT

SFX: FOOTSTEPS ECHO ACROSS EMPTY LOBBY.

CAP is snoring.

STRANGER

So, does your bell captain live in that chair?

SFX: FOOTSTEPS STOP AS THE STRANGER REACHES THE FRONT DESK.

GILES

At least that way I can be sure he's still breathing. How can I help you Mr....

SFX: FLIPS PAGE IN HOTEL REGISTER.

GILES (cont'd)

Blaine Hendrix?

STRANGER

Any sign of Hillcrest.

GILES

No. And I'm confused. Because that both delights and concerns me.

STRANGER

You're worried about him?

GILES

Yes. The rent on his room is overdue and if I have to toss him out, I want to do it in person.

STRANGER

I just can't seem to figure out where he's hiding.

GILES

Hiding? What makes you think he's hiding?

STRANGER

Just a figure of speech. Can I have the key to my room?

GILES

About that. Your room isn't quite ready yet.

STRANGER

What?! I've been gone for hours! What's the holdup?

GILES

My apologies. But, as I told you before, most of the staff is away until the end of the month.

STRANGER

And you also told me Rumpelstiltskin over there would take care of the room.

GILES

I did, didn't I?

(sensing the STRANGER's growing anger)

Cap! Wake up, Cap!

CAP

(awakening with a start)

Rabbit season! Huh? Oh. It's you, Giles.

GILES

Yes. It is. I want you to take "Mr. Hendrix" and his luggage up to his room on the 10th floor. And be sure that everything is in order before you leave.

STRANGER

Can we skip all that. If you just give me the key I can --

GILES

(interrupting)

No! The Venus Arms has standards.

CAP

Since when?

GILES

Cap!

CAP

All right, I'm going.

SFX: SLOW FOOTSTEPS BEGIN TO CROSS THE LOBBY.

GILES

Didn't you forget something?

SFX: FOOTSTEPS STOP.

CAP

Did I forget to put my pants on again?

GILES

I meant the luggage.

CAP

Oh. Right.

SFX: TWO HEAVY BAGS BEING LIFTED, AWKWARDLY, OFF THE FLOOR.

CAP lets out a long series of strained grunts and groans.

CAP (cont'd)

Now, I'll pick up the luggage. Come on. Let's get this over with.

SFX: TWO SETS OF FOOTSTEPS AS CAP AND THE STRANGER CROSS TO THE ELEVATOR.

GILES

(calling across the lobby)

And try not to fall asleep in the elevator this time!

SFX: ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ONCE AS DOORS SLIDE OPEN.

SFX: THE ECHO SOUND OF THE LOBBY DISAPPEARS AS CAP AND THE STRANGER STEP INTO THE ELEVATOR.

STRANGER

Your pants?

SFX: ELEVATOR DOORS SLIDE CLOSED.

MUSIC: TRANSITION STING.

SCENE 8-4: INT. HOTEL ROOM HALLWAY - NIGHT

SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS ONCE AND DOORS SLIDE OPEN.

CAP

See? Wide awake the whole trip!

STRANGER

Mostly.

CAP

Let's get you to your room.

NARRATOR

Cap and the stranger step out of the elevator.

SFX: ELEVATOR DOORS SLIDE CLOSED.

STRANGER

Why are you back?

CAP

Who ya talking to?

STRANGER

That voice that comes out of nowhere.

CAP

Oh, sure. You can get away with that. But me? I say I heard Georgia O'Keeffe one time and they tell me to stop eating flowers before bedtime.

STRANGER

Which room is mine?

CAP

I don't know. Pick one. There's no one else in the hotel.

STRANGER

Okay. How about that one down at the end of the hall. I need to keep an eye out for Hillcrest and that room probably has a good view of the street.

SFX: LUGGAGE DROPS TO THE FLOOR WITH A LOUD CRASH.

CAP

Here's your room, right here. Lovely view of the dumpster.

(mumbling as door opens)

Smart guy. I outta...

SFX: HOTEL ROOM DOOR OPENS.

SFX: TRANSITION WHOOSH.

SCENE 8-5: INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

SFX: LIGHT TRAFFIC CAN BE HEARD IN THE BACKGROUND, MUFFLED THROUGH WINDOW.

NARRATOR

A few minutes later.

CAP

Okay. Your room looks fine. There's the bed, the bathroom, the TV, the standard Venus de Milo statuette, the closet, and the bathroom.

STRANGER

You mentioned the bathroom twice.

CAP

Heh. Priorities. Okay. I'm going back to the lobby. My comfy chair is calling. And that's long distance.

SFX: HOTEL ROOM DOOR OPENS.

CAP (cont'd)

Let me know if you need anything.

STRANGER

Thanks, Cap. Say, maybe you can help me.

CAP

(Sigh.) I was afraid you'd take me up on that.

SFX: HOTEL ROOM DOOR CLOSES.

STRANGER

While Danny Hillcrest was in the hotel restaurant he scribbled something on the place mat. "A RAM SANG." What does that mean to you?

CAP

Usually that I've had another stroke. Look, don't take this the wrong way, but that Hillcrest kid is a few shingles shy of a sharp toolbox, if you know what I mean.

STRANGER

No.

CAP

I could certainly tell you stories.

STRANGER

So far nothing has helped, but I have time to kill. So, shoot.

CAP

It all started last week.

MUSIC: DOWNWARD HARP GLISSANDO BEGINS.

CAP (cont'd)

No wait.

SFX: RECORD SCRATCH BRINGS THE MUSIC TO AN ABRUPT STOP.

CAP (cont'd)

It was 5 years ago. I think. Which year had a "two" in it?

STRANGER

Maybe this was a bad idea.

OUTRO 8-6: COMEDY4CAST STUDIO

NARRATOR

Could this be the story that gives the stranger the information he needs? Will it be the key to decoding Danny's cryptic note? And, of the utmost concern to everyone, what does the stranger have against multi-talented voice-over artists? To find out, be sure to come back for Chapter 9: Playing The Game.

MUSIC: TRANSITION STING.

MUSIC: END CREDITS VERSION OF "BIG SHOT" THEME IN AND UNDER.

CLINTON

Like the show? Then be sure to subscribe, so you never miss an episode. It's easy. comedy4cast is listed on sites like Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music and iHeartRadio. Just remember, comedy4cast is all one word, with the number 4.

In this episode, as the Stranger, Grant Johnson (voicegranted.com). And the Narrator was played by Gary J. Chambers, (garyjchambersvo.com).

Additional voices, as well as story and music by Clinton Alvord. Copyright 2023. All rights reserved.

See you in the next one. But for now, that's it. We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye bye.