comedy4cast #774

BIG SHOT

Chapter 6: Communications Breakdown

Written by

Clinton Alvord

CAST

(in order of appearance, where possible, otherwise by actor)

ID ANNOUNCER..................COMPUTER

CLINTON

DANNY HILLCREST

DICK BANDO.................CLINTON ALVORD

NARRATOR......................GARY J. CHAMBERS

STRANGER......................GRANT JOHNSON

CINDY.........................BONNIE KENDERDINE

INTRO 6-1: COMEDY4CAST STUDIO

MUSIC: COMEDY4CAST NETWORK ID STING

ID ANNOUNCER

The comedy4cast network. Let's dog ear that for now.

MUSIC: CHIRP AS ID BACKGROUND ENDS.

MUSIC: 2023 PODCAST-A-DAY THEME IN AND UNDER.

CLINTON

This is the 2023 comedy4cast Podcast Spectacular, brought to you by the fantastic Patreon patrons. Thank you!

Why not join Krazy Joe Adventures, Gary, Darren, and the other amazing individuals who support the show for as little as a dollar a month.

This year's original 20-chapter story is called "Big Shot". To hear it from the beginning, got to comedy4cast.com/2023. And remember, comedy4cast is all one word, with the number 4. Now, here's Chapter 6: Communications Breakdown.

MUSIC: 2023 PODCAST-A-DAY THEME UP AND PLAY TO END.

NARRATOR

Previously in our story, the mysterious stranger who has come to Middling Fair looking for Danny Hillcrest traveled to The Tunnels. After a guided tour aboard Princess, he reached the library, which doubles as Cindy's office.

SCENE 6-2: INT. LIBRARY - UNDERGROUND/DAY

NARRATOR

As this chapter begins, the stranger is speaking with Cindy.

STRANGER

I'm looking for Danny Hillcrest.

CINDY

(shutting him down)

Like, good luck with that.

SFX: ELECTRONIC CLICK AS MUSIC IS ACTIVATED.

MUSIC: A DRONING TUNE IS HEARD IN THE BACKGROUND.

(cont'd)

STRANGER

I take it he's not here.

CINDY

(Still a tiny bit upset)

Like, no. Not since I, like, fired him.

STRANGER

(another dead end)

Great.

(to Cindy)

Can you tell me what happened? I have to find him. It's about a "life-altering change."

(too much)

Uh -- Of course, that's just a metaphor. Yeah. A metaphor.

SFX: ELECTRONIC CLICK AS MUSIC IS SILENCED.

SFX: THE SOUND OF WIND BLOWING THROUGH DISTANT PARTS OF THE TUNNELS, PREVIOUSLY OBSCURED BY THE MUSIC, IS HEARD IN THE BACKGROUND.

CINDY

Like, whoa. Sorry. I didn't know.

SFX: PAGE FLIPS AND BOOK SLAMS SHUT.

CINDY (cont'd)

Like, what can I tell you?

STRANGER

Anything. And everything.

CINDY

Like, okay. When I opened the, like, Cine-Round-a-Dome art house 24-hours-a-day, 6-screen drive-in, I didn't know how hard it would be.

STRANGER

To put all that on a sign?

CINDY (VO)

Like, yeah. But, it was also, like, way too stressful to be responsible for everything. It was like having a job. Not cool. So, when Danny, like, showed up and said...

MUSIC: DOWNWARD HARP GLISSANDO.

SCENE 6-3: INT. LIBRARY - UNDERGROUND/DAY (FLASHBACK)

IN-STORY FLASHBACK BEGINS HERE...

SFX: IN-STORY FLASHBACK AUDIO SHOULD BE PROCESSED AS NORMAL AUDIO, WHILE CHARACTER NAMES WITH A "(VO)" EXTENSION SHOULD HAVE THEIR DIALOGUE PROCESSED TO INDICATE THEY ARE OUTSIDE OF THE ACTION TAKING PLACE.

DANNY

Hi! Danny Hillcrest here. I'll be happily glad to take over running your outward facing social graph media!

CINDY

Like, what?

DANNY

Your marketing and ad and subtract advertising!

CINDY

Oh. Like, cool.

CINDY (VO)

But, like, things started to go bad, like, right away. A few days later the place was selling out.

STRANGER (VO)

And what's wrong with that?

CINDY (VO)

(indignant)

Like, I never sell out. But, like, that wasn't the problem. Danny wasn't watching the movies. He just, like, heard the titles and made stuff up.

SFX: TEXT TYPING UNDERNEATH DANNY'S DIALOGUE.

DANNY

"River Phoenix and Keanu Reeves star in everyone's favorite feel-good film about a potato that joins the army and falls in love."

STRANGER (VO)

What movie is that?

CINDY (VO)

"My own private Idaho." And, like...

SFX: TEXT TYPING UNDERNEATH DANNY'S DIALOGUE.

DANNY

"It's beaming epic sci-fi science fiction adventure when a Star Trek alien communicator device goes missing."

STRANGER (VO)

Uh?

CINDY (VO)

"Lost in Translation."

SFX: TEXT TYPING UNDERNEATH DANNY'S DIALOGUE.

DANNY

"Thrill to this gritty "Office Space" sequel, where the workplace machines fight back."

CINDY (VO)

"A Scanner Darkly."

MUSIC: UPWARD HARP GLISSANDO.

CINDY

Like, I think you get the idea. So, I was, like, giving out refunds all the time.

STRANGER

I see why you fired him.

CINDY

Like, no way. Not for that. I thought he just, like, needed some training. So, I asked the drive-in's benefactor if he could, like, come in and be Danny's mentor.

STRANGER

Who is this unnamed benefactor?

DICK BANDO

Have no fear. Dick Bando is here!

...IN-STORY FLASHBACK ENDS HERE.

OUTRO 6-4: COMEDY4CAST STUDIO

MUSIC: END CREDITS VERSION OF 2023 P.A.D. SONG IN AND UNDER.

NARRATOR

Dick Bando is the benefactor? How can that be? Dick Bando never does anything for someone else.

DICK BANDO

Dick Bando needed the tax write-off.

NARRATOR

To find out what happens next, be sure to come back for Chapter 7: Undeniable Truth.

CLINTON

Are you liking the show? Then be sure to subscribe, so you never miss an episode. comedy4cast is listed on great sites like iTunes and Spotify.

In this episode, as the stranger, Grant Johnson, VoiceGranted.com; as Cindy, Bonnie Kenderdine; and the Narrator was played by Gary J. Chambers, GaryJChambersVO.com.

Additional voices, as well as story and music by Clinton Alvord. Copyright 2023. All rights reserved.

See you in the next one. But for now, that's it. We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye bye.

MUSIC: END CREDITS VERSION OF "BIG SHOT" UP AND ENDS.