Flagging Down A Meal

A memorable encounter with a cuttlefish.

Researchers have been doing what they do best…research. This time, their experiments with marine life caught our attention. We think. It’s kind of hard to remember. (Run time: 5 minutes) 

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Transcript:

CLINTON:

As people get older, they tend to forget things.

(PAUSE.)

Oh, hi there. Clinton here. And here is today’s Odd News story.

New research indicates cuttlefish – that’s C-U-T-T-L-E, not cuddly at all — that cuttlefish can remember events and call up past experiences right up to their last few days of life.

(PAUSE.)

And here is today’s Odd News story.

Memory tests were conduced on 24 cuttlefish. Half were the equivalent of very young teenager, and the other half were the equivalent of a human in their 90’s.

I loved the 90’s. Have I mentioned how many pogs I have in my collection?

Oh, hi there, Clinton here. And here is…

The cuttlefish were trained to identify two different flags dropped into their tank, one showed where they could go to be fed yummy grass shimp, mmmmmm. The other one told them where not-so-yummy king prawn would be served. Feh. And researchers kept randomizing the flag locations.

Okay. Now here’s where things get complicated. Uh. More complicated.

For the first meal of the day the cuttlefish had to find and wait by the shrimp flag. It was the only place where food would be delivered.

An hour later, the flags were back. Now the cuttlefish had to remember it already had its first meal, and this time it had to find and wait by the flag for the not so yummy prawns.

Finally, three hours after that, the cuttlefish could zip to either flag and wait to get fed. And the cuttlefish had to remember that way back three hours ago they had to choose the meh food and now they could go wait the shrimp flag again.

It turns out that all the cuttlefish could remember all the things they had to do. Even the really old ones remembered all the elements of the test. What? what test?

But us humans? As time goes by it gets harder and harder for us to remember info like times and places and things we’ve already done.

Oh, hi there, Clinton here. And here is today’s odd news story.

The cuttlefish — aww, cuddlefish — isn’t that cute. Cute cuddly fish don’t have a hippocampus. The hippocampus is how humans remember…what hippos they met it..”college?”

“What’s surprising,” said Dr. Schnell, is that even though the old cuttlefish showed “other signs of ageing like loss of muscle function and appetite and turning up the TV too loud, they were just as good as the younger ones in the memory task – in fact, many of the older ones did better in the test phase. See? Still relevant!

Personally, I think this memory difference is because what a human is thinking as they get older is different from what an old cuttlefish is thinking. The cuttlefish is thinking “Don’t get eaten by a shark. When are they putting those flags back in the water? Don’t get eaten by a shark. When are they putting those flags back in the water?” and old human people are thinking “Where did I put my keys? Did I leave the oven on? Why does everyone groan when I write a check at the grocery store? What day of the week is it this year? Did I leave the oven on? Do I like asparagus? What is asparagus?” There’s no room left to remember other stuff.

Oh, hi there. Clinton here. That’s it, we’re done, done, done,

Duck Port Of Call

Ernie is excited about this story.

The seaside town of Belfast, Maine recently welcomed a new visitor to their harbor. No, it’s not Wally the Walrus. But, it is something really big. (Run time: 4-1/2 minutes)

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>> Dog image by karsten_kettermann-2496499 and microphone image by alles-2597842, both courtesy of Pixabay
>> Certain sounds effects courtesy of freeSFX and FreeSound.org

Transcript:

CLINTON

Here’s a math problem for you: if a rubber ducky the size of a bar of soap is “lots of fun,” what about one the size of a truck full of jacuzzis?

That’s what residents of the seaside town of Belfast, Maine may be trying to calculate. Because there is a gigantic, bright yellow rubber ducky sitting in their harbor.

According to the city’s harbormaster, Katherine Given, the really, really, big bird suddenly appeared — or is it “landed” — on August 14th. It seems to be anchored to the bottom of the harbor. Officials say they have no idea who put it there.

The growth-spurt game bird, which looks exactly like it’s smaller bathtub counterpart, is estimated to be about 25 feet tall, and has one distinguishing feature — uh, aside from being 25 feet tall. The word “Joy” is written in large letters on the front of the fowl of unusual size.

At first residents thought it might have been connected to Belfest Harborfest, which had concluded at the end of the previous weekend. But organizers said they had nothing to do with it. Others think the massive mallard may have come from nearby Islesboro Island, where a similar, or the same duck had reportedly been spotted.

Regardless of where the Daffy Down-Easter came from, it seems to be making a big splash with the locals.

“Everybody loves it,” Harbormaster Given told the Bangor Daily News. “I have no idea who owns it, but it kind of fits Belfast. A lot of people want to keep it here.”

Indeed. It has already become quite the tourist attraction. Residents of other towns have been making a detour to the harbor just to see the salt-water quacker.

Giant rubber ducks have been making themselves seen for at least the past 20 years, when artist Florentijn Hofman began installing them in waterways on a worldwide tour. He called the project “Spreading Joy Around the World.” However, those ducks stood six stories tall, truly making even the world’s largest harbors look like bathtubs.

Given said she isn’t in any hurry to get rid of the surprise visitor, even though it has migrated a bit. Originally the floating fowl figure was in the shallows, in an area where it didn’t interfere with trafic. However, wind from a recent thunderstorm dragged it a little closer to the mouth of the harbor.

“If it was in the middle of the mooring field, it could be kind of a navigational hazard,” she said, but added that in it’s current location, “it’s not bothering anybody.”

If the enormous avian does begin to make an exit from the harbor, we can offer only one piece of advice: Make way for duckling!

But for now, that’s it. We’re done, done, done, done, done. Bye bye.

This One Stands Alone

We have to hand it to this criminal.

When a lawbreaker gets busted because something was cracked, well, it simply MUST be an Odd News story. (Run time: 3 minutes)

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>> Dog image by karsten_kettermann-2496499 and microphone image by alles-2597842, both courtesy of Pixabay
>> Certain sounds effects courtesy of freeSFX and FreeSound.org

Transcript:

CLINTON:
Oh, hi there. Clinton here. And here’s today’s odd news story.

A drug dealer in Liverpool, England has been given a 13-and-a-half year sentence for his crimes. Carl Stewart had previously evaded police by using an phone to hide his identity. The so-called EncroChat phone is a highly-encrypted device, often used by criminals.

So, what ultimately lead to Stewart’s capture? Did a fellow criminal rat him out? No, but you’re getting warmer. That’s because Stewart was done in by a block of cheese – Mature Blue Stilton to be precise.

Police had recently cracked the EncroChat phone system that Stewart was using, which lead to the arrest of hundreds of people in the UK suspected of major crimes.

But how did they nab Stewart? And what does this have to do with cheese?

The now-former drug dealer, who had been posting under the alias “toffeeforce” made the mistake of uploading a picture of a wrapped package of M&S Stilton — showing his fingers and palm in the photo. Police were able to analyze the picture, matching the prints to those on file for Mr. Stewart.

Shortly thereafter, he was brought before the magistrate at Liverpool Crown Court, where he pleaded guilty to a number of crimes, including conspiracy to supply drugs and the transfer of criminal property.

Mr. Stewart will be out of jail in 2034. No word if the Stilton will wait for him.

But for now, that’s it. We’re done, done, done, done, done. Bye bye.

No Roadies Required

Catch this star’s European tour.

Things seem to be going swimmingly for one rockstar this summer. They are doing all the typical things associated with celebrities on tour. And no one appears to be stopping them. Hec, they can’t wait to see if he stops by their expensive boat. (Run time: 4-1/2 minutes)

>> Become a fan and comment on Facebook or MeWe
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>> And be sure to check out everything happening over at The Topic is Trek, the other podcast Clinton does
>> Dog image by karsten_kettermann-2496499 and microphone image by alles-2597842, both courtesy of Pixabay
>> Certain sounds effects courtesy of freeSFX and FreeSound.org

Soap That’s A Nope

A slow-moving tale of cosmetic chemistry.

In today’s Odd News story, we travel to France to learn about one man’s return to nature. We also learn how his new business might leave you questioning your skin care choices. (Run time: 4 minutes) 

>> Become a fan and comment on Facebook or MeWe
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>> Call the new phone line: (213) 290-4451
>> Drop us an email at podcast @ comedy4cast.com
>> Not able to be a Patreon patron? Consider just buying Clinton some coffee
>> And be sure to check out everything happening over at The Topic is Trek, the other podcast Clinton does
>> Dog image by karsten_kettermann-2496499 and microphone image by alles-2597842, both courtesy of Pixabay
>> Certain sounds effects courtesy of freeSFX and FreeSound.org